adBlockCheck

Sports

Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

The Onion Introduces: The Book Bjorn

Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, The Onion Book Of Known Knowledge is packed with valuable information--such as the life stage...

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
End Of Section
  • More News

ESPN Showing Home Footage Of Young Harbaugh Brothers Coaching Together In Backyard

BRISTOL, CT—In part of the network’s buildup to the much-anticipated “HarBowl,” ESPN is showing viewers exclusively obtained home footage of Jim and John Harbaugh coaching together in their backyard as young boys, sources confirmed Friday.“We thought it would be nice to give a glimpse into what these two phenomenal NFL coaches were like when they were kids and just coaching football in the yard without a care in the world,” said SportsCenter executive producer Alex Durbin, adding that the old clips of the Harbaughs screaming play calls, managing the game clock, and slamming their Fisher-Price headsets to the ground after giving up touchdowns has already garnered a very positive response from ESPN viewers. “As you can see, back when Jim and John were 7 and 8, coaching football wasn’t about winning championships. It was just about getting outside with friends and running up and down the sidelines until it was too dark to see the clipboard.” Reached for comment, Jack Harbaugh told reporters that regardless of which team wins the Lombardi Trophy, he is simply proud that his sons never lost the childlike petulance they always had as young coaches.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close