How did this brutal ideological conflict begin, and will there ever be peace in the region? The Onion explains the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.
BRISTOL, CT—Gary Belsky, editor-in-chief of ESPN The Magazine, expressed satisfaction and delight with the mockup of his publication's latest issue Wednesday, flipping gleefully through the pages and staring in mesmerized awe at the multitude of "pretty, pretty pictures." "Oooooooooooooohhhhhh," said Belsky, sensuously running his fingers along a two-page-spread photograph of Royals outfielders Joey Gathright and David DeJesus leaping for a fly ball. "Soooo shiiiiiiny." Belsky went on to say that the magazine cover was "so glossy smooth," that the letters were very, very big and in all different pretty-pretty colors, and that there should be more ads.