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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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ESPN Writer Changes City Names From Previous Story About Milton Bradley Finding Self In New Surroundings

BRISTOL, CT—To write her recent profile detailing Milton Bradley's attempt to find peace within himself in Seattle, ESPN senior writer Elizabeth Merrill simply found her 2009 article about the troubled outfielder's attempt to find peace within himself in Chicago, changed the team name throughout the story from the Cubs to the Mariners, and replaced every mention of Lou Piniella with Seattle manager Don Wakamatsu. "Writing these Milton Bradley 'I have finally turned my life around' stories is the easiest thing in the world," Merrill told reporters, adding that she composed identical articles in 2004 and 2006 about Bradley's arrivals in Los Angeles and Oakland, respectively. "I just open up my 'Bradley Finding Self In New Surroundings' template and from there it's pretty much just find-and-replace." Merrill said she learned the trick from former ESPN boxing reporter Max Kellerman, who has used his "Mike Tyson Opens Up On New Outlook On Life Following His Arrest" boilerplate more than 15 times.

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