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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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ESPN2 Experiments With Broadcasting NBA Finals From Dan Patrick's Point Of View

BRISTOL, CT—The ABC Sports family extended its attempt to offer alternative coverage of major sporting events by using miniaturized cameras and microphones to broadcast Tuesday night's NBA Finals Game 6 from the perspective of ABC studio team member Dan Patrick live on ESPN2. "Excuse me… Pardon me… Sorry," Patrick can be heard to say during the tip-off and first three minutes of the game, narrating HDTV-quality first-person shots of exactly what Patrick saw as he hurried to his third-row seat after wrapping up the pregame show. "Okay, Miami, let's see if you can get this ratings-killer of a series over with." ESPN2 has not said whether they would repeat their "Dan PatrickVision" experiment in future broadcasts, saying fans were "intrigued but not enthusiastic" about the long shots of Patrick checking his cell-phone messages, the frequent quick pans to the unnamed blonde woman sitting behind Patrick's left shoulder, or the comb that obscured the on-court action as it passed in front of the camera roughly every 45 seconds.

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