ESPN.com Acquires ESPN.go.com

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Vol 49 Issue 32

Carl Tresvant

Since he didn’t know anything about the topic being discussed, Carl Tresvant kept his goddamn trap shut.

Obama Taking 8-Day Martha’s Vineyard Vacation

The Obama family will leave Saturday for an 8-day vacation on the quiet, affluent island of Martha’s Vineyard, where they have visited three of the past four summers, and are expected to spend the week golfing, shopping, and relaxing.

Doctors Finally Clear Peyton Manning To Play Football

DENVER—Two years after performing his 2011 spinal fusion surgery, doctors announced this week that Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning has been officially cleared to return to the field and take part in football activities.
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ESPN.com Acquires ESPN.go.com

BRISTOL, CT—In a merger of the two online sports news giants, top executives at ESPN.com announced Thursday that they have fully acquired and subsumed rival website ESPN.go.com. “The audience of ESPN.com and the audience of ESPN.go.com overlapped so much that this move made the most sense,” said ESPN.com vice president Kevin Jackson, explaining that fans will no longer have to check both websites for complete sports news coverage. “Obviously, getting the traffic that was going to ESPN.go.com is huge for us. But there’s also just a lot of mutual respect and admiration between our staff and the ESPN.go.com staff. We’re very excited to start working together.” With the blockbuster acquisition complete, ESPN.com will reportedly now set its sights on picking up one or both of www.espn.com and http://espn.com.

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