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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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ESPN.com Visitor Wouldn't Have Watched Ad If He'd Known Video Was Just Analysis

BETTENDORF, IA—ESPN.com visitor Eric Escobedo was forced to endure a full 30-second advertisement for Bank of America on the website Sunday night, an experience he reportedly would not have tolerated had he known the “stupid video” was just analysis. “The headline said that the Bears lost in overtime and made it seem like something exciting, but it was just a bunch of talking about stats from Chicago’s last five matchups,” said Escobedo, adding that the site did not permit him to skip the ad. “Why would they put an analysis video on the front page? I definitely would have sat through the ad for highlights of touchdowns, interceptions, and sacks, or even clips of guys yelling about how the Bears suck.” Though frustrated by the experience, Escobedo refused to fault the website for wasting his time, admitting that he had willingly frittered away countless hours over the decades watching pointless analysis from ESPN.

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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

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