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Man Born With Face You Just Want To Punch

In case you missed last night's premiere of the second season of "Onion News Network", watch Jean Anne Whorton's touching portrait of a man who was born with a god-awful, hateful face.
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ESPN.com Visitor Wouldn't Have Watched Ad If He'd Known Video Was Just Analysis

BETTENDORF, IA—ESPN.com visitor Eric Escobedo was forced to endure a full 30-second advertisement for Bank of America on the website Sunday night, an experience he reportedly would not have tolerated had he known the “stupid video” was just analysis. “The headline said that the Bears lost in overtime and made it seem like something exciting, but it was just a bunch of talking about stats from Chicago’s last five matchups,” said Escobedo, adding that the site did not permit him to skip the ad. “Why would they put an analysis video on the front page? I definitely would have sat through the ad for highlights of touchdowns, interceptions, and sacks, or even clips of guys yelling about how the Bears suck.” Though frustrated by the experience, Escobedo refused to fault the website for wasting his time, admitting that he had willingly frittered away countless hours over the decades watching pointless analysis from ESPN.

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