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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Even British Able To See Holes In Buccaneers' Defense

LONDON—Despite their lack of experience watching American football and their unfamiliarity with all but the most basic principles of the sport, the local crowd attending the NFL game at London's Wembley Stadium Sunday had little trouble identifying key weaknesses in the Buccaneer defense as the Patriots cruised to a 35-7 victory. "My word, that safety-man has lost contain yet again, and the Bucs are just getting—what's the word?—blocked right off their feet on nearly every play," attendee Martin Hollings said as Patriots running back Laurence Maroney broke free for a 14-yard run. "Oh, I say, poor show…. These chaps are in fact allowed to use their hands, are they not? Because you certainly could not tell by watching them." In a related incident, BBC commentators claimed they meant no offense and were attempting to compliment wide receiver Wes Welker by saying the Tampa Bay secondary "made [Welker] look like Pelé out there."

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