Every Bill Reminds Congressman Of Ex-Wife

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Vol 43 Issue 39

Utah Polygamist Convicted

Warren Jeffs, the leader of a polygamous Mormon splinter group, was found guilty of being an accomplice to rape for marrying a 14-year-old girl to a...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

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Every Bill Reminds Congressman Of Ex-Wife

WASHINGTON, DC—Ever since his divorce from his wife of 22 years became final in June, Rep. Chuck Brunet (R-NC) sees "Mary's face in every piece of legislation" that comes across his desk, the Oklahoma lawmaker told reporters Tuesday.

"I couldn't even bring myself to vote on the farm-subsidy bill last week," said Brunet, who has reportedly missed more than half a dozen House votes on similar bills because they "remind [him] of the times we went apple picking." "And every time that net neutrality motion comes up in subcommittee, I think of all those e-mails she used to send me. Oh God, Mary!"

Capitol Hill sources say Brunet led a filibuster against increased funding for the Federal Aviation Administration earlier this month because his ex-wife met her current boyfriend on a flight to Atlanta.

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