Every Intern At Nonprofit Trying To Solve Refugee Crisis First

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Vol 43 Issue 41

Atlantic City Mayor Resigns

After an absence of nearly two weeks in which his whereabouts were largely unknown, Robert W. Levy, mayor of Atlantic City, NJ, returned to office...

Piping-Hot Calzone Missing

WEST ORANGE, NJ—"It was right here a second ago," said the owner of the sizzling Italian sandwich, which was last seen in the office break room at approximately 1 p.m.

Police Tasers Deemed Safe

A recent independent study determined that Tasers are generally safe in the hands of the police. What do you think?
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Every Intern At Nonprofit Trying To Solve Refugee Crisis First

WASHINGTON, DC—According to employees at the nonprofit organization Refugees International, each of the four new fall interns has been trying to impress the staff by being the first to solve the refugee crisis in Burma before their internships end in December. "I don't mind them attempting to levy sanctions against the Burmese junta or coordinate humanitarian airlifts to the oppressed Karen people on their own time, but we really need them to keep the copier full of paper and ensure we have enough pens," said the organization's director, Greg Davidson. "Besides, solving refugee crises is really the responsibility of paid staffers." Davidson added that his idea of a model intern is 20-year-old Dartmouth senior Sarah Frazier, who is quiet during staff meetings, shows little outward ambition, and is pretty.

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