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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Every Marlins Game Sold Out For Next Season As Fans Become Enamored With Team's New Color Scheme

MIAMI—The Miami Marlins announced Saturday they are completely sold out of tickets for the 2012 season, ending a deluge of requests from area residents completely rabid about the long-ignored team's new cap and uniform colors. "Until three weeks ago, I didn't know anyone around here who gave a crap about the Marlins, but when they changed up their colors, we were all like, 'Oh, man! Wow! Blue, yellow, black, and orange?'" said new season-ticket holder Gord McCullough, adding that like the majority of Miami residents, he once would have preferred sitting in traffic for four hours to attending a Marlins game, but now, because of the revamped logo's stylized fish and the addition of the city's name to the team, can't imagine life without trips to the ballpark. "I don't even really care that it's basically the same lineup as last year. Did you see [Miami mascot] Billy the Marlin's new look?" Club management confirmed that by the All-Star break, when the hype has died down, the team is below .500, and people stop showing up for games, the tarp that typically covers all of the unsold seats in the stadium will also have a new Marlins logo on it.

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