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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Every NCAA Basketball Player Declares Eligibility For NBA Draft

NEW YORK—All 30,000 current NCAA men's basketball players, from those who play for Division I powerhouses such as Duke to such lesser-known basketball programs as that of Allegheny County Community College, announced Monday that they were declaring their eligibility for the June 28 NBA Draft. "I figured, well, why not?" said Joshua Ward, a 5'10" sophomore from Eastern Wyoming College. "It can't hurt. Even if I don't get picked, I've never been to New York City, let alone [2007 draft site] Madison Square Garden." NBA Commissioner David Stern remarked Tuesday that he wasn't aware this many kids wanted to become professional basketball players, and as a result was considering creating 3,000 expansion teams for the 2007-08 season.

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Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

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