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Every Team, Fan Base, Front Office Panicking

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Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
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  • Email From Mom Sent At 5:32 A.M.

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Every Team, Fan Base, Front Office Panicking

With the regular season either finally underway or almost over, the playoffs beginning, and preparations for the draft about to wrap up, every individual associated with a professional North American sports team in any way entered a deep state of panic this week. "We really have to shore up our defense and get more physical or we are just going to be meat to every other team in our division," star Chicago Bulls guard Derrick Rose, longtime Green Bay Packers fan Brian Walters, and embattled Toronto Maple Leafs general manager Brian Burke said Friday. "Right now, the [team] [is] just on the brink of disaster." Meanwhile, every head coach in sports was given an unsolicited vote of confidence by team ownership, a declaration traditionally seen by the sports media as a bad sign.

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