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Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.

Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

Wife Dropping Hints She Ready To Have Second Husband

LA JOLLA, CA—Noticing a sudden change in her demeanor and attentiveness when around young married men, sources confirmed Tuesday that area woman Michelle Roderick was beginning to drop hints that she wanted to try for a second husband.
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Everyone Glad Someone Else Making Small Talk With Disabled Woman

SAN ANTONIO, TX–A palpable sense of relief came over passengers on the westbound D-line bus Monday when someone else struck up a conversation with 53-year-old cerebral-palsy sufferer Sharon Bellacosa. "Boy, that was a close one," said rider Jon Neidhardt, 28, who was sitting next to Bellacosa. "For a second there, I was terrified she'd ask me if I knew how much farther her stop was in that slow, slurred voice and then try to segue it into a friendly chat with me. Luckily, the guy sitting across from her was willing to sacrifice himself for the good of the rest of us and talk to her." Neidhardt said that, despite not having to talk to the disabled woman, he became tense while listening to her loud conversation and did not relax fully until she got off the bus.

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Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

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