Everyone In NCAA Head Office Wins NCAA Office Pool

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Vol 42 Issue 14

First 9/11 Film Coming

United 93, a film about the hijacked United flight that crashed in a Pennsylvania field on Sept. 11, 2001, will make its debut at the Tribeca...

First Brazilian In Space

Lt. Col. Marcos Pontes, the first Brazilian astronaut, is due to return from his brief mission tomorrow. What do you think?
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

Everyone In NCAA Head Office Wins NCAA Office Pool

INDIANAPOLIS—Staff members of the National Collegiate Athletic Association's main office engaged in reserved celebration Monday night, as Florida's victory resulted in each employee correctly and exactly predicting the winner of all 64 games in the tournament. "We've all clearly worked here together for too long, because we all turned in identical brackets, and we all did so within 15 minutes of the tournament schedule being announced," said a source close to the NCAA office who wished to remain anonymous and repeatedly insisted that he did not take part in the pool. "And we need a better system for tie-breakers than guessing the score of the final. Everyone got that one, too." Asked to comment about the situation, NCAA president Myles Brand said that he does not condone betting on college basketball, especially in an office where the payout for all the winners "was so low this year that I probably won't even participate anymore."
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