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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Everyone In NCAA Head Office Wins NCAA Office Pool

INDIANAPOLIS—Staff members of the National Collegiate Athletic Association's main office engaged in reserved celebration Monday night, as Florida's victory resulted in each employee correctly and exactly predicting the winner of all 64 games in the tournament. "We've all clearly worked here together for too long, because we all turned in identical brackets, and we all did so within 15 minutes of the tournament schedule being announced," said a source close to the NCAA office who wished to remain anonymous and repeatedly insisted that he did not take part in the pool. "And we need a better system for tie-breakers than guessing the score of the final. Everyone got that one, too." Asked to comment about the situation, NCAA president Myles Brand said that he does not condone betting on college basketball, especially in an office where the payout for all the winners "was so low this year that I probably won't even participate anymore."

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