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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Everyone In Red Sox Locker Room Just Assumed Jason Varitek Died

BOSTON—Catcher Jason Varitek's entrance into the Boston clubhouse Tuesday was punctuated by startled shouts and the clatter of dropped objects, as his Red Sox teammates explained that they had all just assumed the veteran player had died. "I could have sworn he died after the All-Star break," second baseman Dustin Pedroia, who sent flowers and a card to Varitek's family, told reporters. "I don't remember seeing him on base at all last season, much less in the lineup or catching. I thought that's why we got Victor [Martinez], because Jason was dead. Right?" Though Pedroia insisted that it was good to see his teammate again, he was still not entirely convinced that Varitek was not dead after watching him take a round of batting practice.

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