adBlockCheck

Recent News

Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.
End Of Section
  • More News

Everyone On Flight Annoyed By Screaming Kid Rock

LOS ANGELES—Passengers on flight 657 from Detroit to Los Angeles confirmed Wednesday that the trip was repeatedly disrupted by the noisy and obnoxious behavior of an annoying Kid Rock seated in the fifth row. “As soon as I saw that damn Kid Rock get on the plane, I knew it was going to be one of those awful flights,” said business traveler Alvin Gorman, who complained about the immature behavior and ear-splitting screams of the unruly Kid Rock. “I wish someone would shut that Kid Rock up. For almost an hour, that fucking Kid Rock was kicking the back of my seat or running up and down the aisle yelling like an idiot.” Several passengers told reporters that the last 20 minutes of the flight were relatively peaceful when the hyperactive Kid Rock began to calm down after he was given a bottle.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close