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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Everyone On Flight Annoyed By Screaming Kid Rock

LOS ANGELES—Passengers on flight 657 from Detroit to Los Angeles confirmed Wednesday that the trip was repeatedly disrupted by the noisy and obnoxious behavior of an annoying Kid Rock seated in the fifth row. “As soon as I saw that damn Kid Rock get on the plane, I knew it was going to be one of those awful flights,” said business traveler Alvin Gorman, who complained about the immature behavior and ear-splitting screams of the unruly Kid Rock. “I wish someone would shut that Kid Rock up. For almost an hour, that fucking Kid Rock was kicking the back of my seat or running up and down the aisle yelling like an idiot.” Several passengers told reporters that the last 20 minutes of the flight were relatively peaceful when the hyperactive Kid Rock began to calm down after he was given a bottle.

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