adBlockCheck

Recent News

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
End Of Section
  • More News

Ex-Sniper Shot Dead After Surviving Years In Harrowing United States

GLEN ROSE, TX—Tragedy struck on Saturday as famed former sniper Chris Kyle reportedly was shot and killed at a local gun range, marking a bitter end to the life of a renowned Navy SEAL who had survived long, brutal years in the hellish landscape of the United States. “This man endured countless risks and witnessed indescribable horrors during his extended time in America, but in the end, his luck just ran out,” Glen Rose Police Department spokesman James Alvarez said of Kyle, whose shooting death was just one of hundreds of senseless acts of violence recorded in the United States so far this year. “Unfortunately, life here is cruel and unpredictable. Chris’ death is a reminder of that.” Alvarez added that though Kyle’s death is tragic, he hoped it would serve to convince people that it is “high time” all Americans were pulled out of the United States of America entirely.

More from this section

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close