adBlockCheck

Recent News

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
End Of Section
  • More News

Ex-Sniper Shot Dead After Surviving Years In Harrowing United States

GLEN ROSE, TX—Tragedy struck on Saturday as famed former sniper Chris Kyle reportedly was shot and killed at a local gun range, marking a bitter end to the life of a renowned Navy SEAL who had survived long, brutal years in the hellish landscape of the United States. “This man endured countless risks and witnessed indescribable horrors during his extended time in America, but in the end, his luck just ran out,” Glen Rose Police Department spokesman James Alvarez said of Kyle, whose shooting death was just one of hundreds of senseless acts of violence recorded in the United States so far this year. “Unfortunately, life here is cruel and unpredictable. Chris’ death is a reminder of that.” Alvarez added that though Kyle’s death is tragic, he hoped it would serve to convince people that it is “high time” all Americans were pulled out of the United States of America entirely.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close