adBlockCheck

Sports

Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
End Of Section
  • More News

Excited Dallas Stars Hear Dallas Morning News Reporter May Be At Next Game

DALLAS—After eliminating the Anaheim Ducks in the first round of the NHL Playoffs Sunday, Dallas Stars coach Dave Tippett excited his players with the possibility that a Dallas Morning News reporter might attend the first game of the Western Conference Semifinals on May 2. "I've been sending e-mails and making calls all season trying to get someone from the media to cover us," said Tippett, adding that a front-row seat at center ice would be reserved for the reporter. "I don't want to get the players' hopes up, but I think they may even send a sports reporter instead of the human-interest lady this time. This could be the real deal." When asked for comment, Morning News editor Garry Leavell said that he could not guarantee a reporter would be at the game, as sports coverage would be dependent upon the Dallas Mavericks' performance in the NBA playoffs, whether or not the Texas Rangers have a game that night, and if Cowboys wide receiver Terrell Owens decided to say or do something.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close