According to a study published Tuesday by sociologists at Princeton University, slapping every single person in a grocery store and then baring one’s genitalia in the produce department remains an act roundly frowned upon by modern society.
DALLAS—After eliminating the Anaheim Ducks in the first round of the NHL Playoffs Sunday, Dallas Stars coach Dave Tippett excited his players with the possibility that a Dallas Morning News reporter might attend the first game of the Western Conference Semifinals on May 2. "I've been sending e-mails and making calls all season trying to get someone from the media to cover us," said Tippett, adding that a front-row seat at center ice would be reserved for the reporter. "I don't want to get the players' hopes up, but I think they may even send a sports reporter instead of the human-interest lady this time. This could be the real deal." When asked for comment, Morning News editor Garry Leavell said that he could not guarantee a reporter would be at the game, as sports coverage would be dependent upon the Dallas Mavericks' performance in the NBA playoffs, whether or not the Texas Rangers have a game that night, and if Cowboys wide receiver Terrell Owens decided to say or do something.