adBlockCheck

Recent News

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Can Trump Follow Through On His Campaign Promises?

President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.

Being A Mom Was The Best Four Years Of My Life!

As I get older, I find myself reflecting on my life more often and marveling at what an amazing journey it’s been. I’ve made tons of great friends, been to magnificent places all over the world, and learned so many important things about myself along the way. But if I’m being honest, there’s one period of my life that stands out from all the rest: those four incredible years when I was a mom.
End Of Section
  • More News

Executioner Enters Lethal Injection Room With Bag From Home Depot

MCALESTER, OK—Shortly before administering a lethal injection to a prisoner sentenced to death by the state, Oklahoma Department of Corrections executioner Michael Callahan reportedly entered the death chamber Friday at Oklahoma State Penitentiary carrying a large plastic bag full of purchases from a nearby Home Depot. “I typically run out to the store an hour or so ahead of time and grab some of the stuff we need,” Callahan told reporters, referring to the jugs and canisters of hazardous chemicals acquired from the home improvement retailer, which included antifreeze, rat poison, and the weed killer Roundup. “This’ll be the first time I’m going with drain cleaner instead of bleach, so I’m really curious about how the guy’s going to react. I’ll kind of mix this stuff together and fill up a syringe with it and we’ll be good to go. I think 50 CC’s seems about right.” Callahan added that in the event the toxic concoction failed to kill the prisoner, he could always make a second trip to Home Depot and be back at the execution chamber in half an hour.

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close