Executive Reschedules Wife's Birthday For October

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Vol 42 Issue 32

Pluto Not A Planet?

Scientists from around the world are convening this week to decide whether or not Pluto fits the definition of a planet. What do you think?

Texas Penguin Truck Accident

Last week, a truck carrying exotic fish, penguins, and an octopus overturned on a Texas highway, spilling its cargo. What do you think?

New Terror Plot Stopped

The country's aviation system is on high orange alert after officials broke up an al Qaeda plot to blow set off homemade bombs on flights from London...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Executive Reschedules Wife's Birthday For October

ST. LOUIS—Citing crucial budget meetings, the rollout of a seasonal ad blitz, and several can't-miss golf games, Hewlett–Packard Director Of Regional Marketing Randall Fulmer has tentatively re-slated his wife's birthday next Tuesday for early or late October. "Nancy—just too much on plate to give you an hour in re: your DOB anytime in the next 60 to 90 days," Fulmer's assistant wrote in an email to Mrs. Fulmer Monday. "Suggest we try to squeeze it in between late-Sept. conference and mid-Oct. reorganizational period. Thoughts?" Although Fulmer would not reveal the exact content of his wife's reply, he reportedly instructed his assistant to set aside time in early August to accommodate his wife's disappointment.

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