adBlockCheck

Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
End Of Section
  • More News

Exhausted Bill Belichick Attempts To Wake Up By Splashing Some Blood On His Face

HINGHAM, MA—After getting out of bed and trudging into his bathroom early Monday morning, New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick reportedly attempted to wake himself up by splashing some blood on his face. “I’m usually pretty groggy in the morning, so this is a good way to get energized,” said Belichick as he cupped some cold blood in his hands, tossed it onto his face several times in quick succession, and rubbed some blood in his eyes before drying off with a washcloth. “I always feel so much better afterwards—refreshed and ready to start my day. It wakes me up right away, which is great when I don’t have time for my usual hot blood shower in the morning.” Reports later confirmed that after getting dressed and putting on his shoes, Belichick realized he was late for work and quickly filled a travel mug with some steaming hot blood before rushing out the door.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close
settings