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Exhausted Cyclists Ask For Some Drugs So They Can Finish Tour De France

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Exhausted Cyclists Ask For Some Drugs So They Can Finish Tour De France

BLAGNAC-BRIVE-LA-GAILLARDE, FRANCE—During Friday's 222.5-km-long 18th stage of the Tour De France, several dozen exhausted cyclists reportedly asked trainers, cameramen, and random spectators if they had any drugs that could help them finish the race. "I know I can get a massage or some painkillers, but c'mon, let's get serious, you know what I need to finish this thing," Spaniard Alejandro Valverde told a reporter, pleading for "something, anything" that could chemically enhance the human body's ability to handle physical strain. "Andro, EPO, natural or synthetic testosterone, I'll take whatever you've got. This race is hard. Like really, seriously hard. We need drugs." Several cyclists, dejected by the difficulty of immediately acquiring steroids, reportedly said the race was a lot more enjoyable a couple of years ago when everybody had tons of drugs they were willing to share.

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