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20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
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Exhausted Doctor To Wake Up Early, Finish Surgery In Morning

LOS ANGELES—Just moments after successfully stopping his patient's heart at 10:30 p.m. Tuesday, bleary-eyed surgeon Dr. Dennis Kelly called it a night and decided to finish performing quadruple bypass surgery on Harold Cruz, 67, in the morning.

"Honestly, all these organs are looking the same to me right now," said Kelly, calling his mind "complete mush." "I need to take a nice long breather and come back to this with fresh eyes."

Kelly said that he knew it was time to put aside the surgery when he caught himself attempting to re-harvest the exact same femoral vein he had removed 20 minutes earlier.

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