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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Experts Warn: NBA Season May Begin Sometime In Next Three To Six Weeks

BRISTOL, CT—Leading basketball experts predicted yesterday that many, if not all, of the teams in the National Basketball Association are planning to begin regular-season play by the end of the month. "I know nobody wants to hear this with football season beginning to pick up steam and the baseball playoffs going on, but I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't inform all of you that by the beginning of November, every professional basketball team, I repeat, every NBA team, will have played one regular season game," said ESPN's Dr. Jack Ramsay during an NBA season-preview segment on SportsCenter. "And my sources tell me that after that, the teams fully intend to play 81 more." According to Ramsay, even the Portland Trail Blazers, the NBA's worst team last season, are planning on playing a full NBA schedule come November.

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