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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
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Expressing Deeply Held Political Opinion Referred To As ‘Gaffe’

WASHINGTON—In an attempt to quell the media firestorm surrounding controversial comments made last week by Kentucky Rep. Richard Wescott, aides to the congressman told reporters Monday that the exact expression of one of his deeply felt opinions was a regrettable “gaffe” and nothing more. “The representative misspoke,” a senior staffer said of Wescott’s decision to candidly state a conviction that has guided his entire three-decade career in public service and influenced most, if not all, of his legislation. “Going forward, Representative Wescott will work to [keep this cornerstone political belief silent when in the presence of cameras or microphones, and only allow it to inform the way he votes on bills and measures in Congress, represents the 600,000 individuals in his district, and assesses nearly every policy decision he is faced with]. He is truly sorry.” At press time, most of Westcott’s constituents had accepted his apology after he vowed to “give every ounce of effort” toward achieving several goals neither he nor they actually cared about one way or the other.

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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

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