adBlockCheck

Sports

Nauseatingly Precious NYC Couples To Walk Around In Rain

The Onion Weather Center looks at New York City where heavy rain causes obnoxious loving couples to come out and walk around the city like a bunch of assholes who have never seen rain before, and an impending blackout gives the city's working class its...

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
End Of Section
  • More News

Extremely Patient Kevin Youkilis Works Count To 6-5

BOSTON—Showing the discerning eye and patient bat that have become his hallmark, the Red Sox' Kevin Youkilis pushed a third-inning at bat to a six-and-five count before finally working a walk on Tuesday. "That 5-4 pitch was tough, but in that spot I'm looking for something to drive," said Youkilis, who was down 0-3 in the count before taking the next five pitches for balls. "My job there is to make the starter work, so I usually just take the first eight pitches or so to give myself an idea of what he's got to offer. Then I try to foul off another 10 or so to get his pitch count way up. A lot of people say the most important pitch is strike one, but I've always found it to be strike seven. Because at that point you're only three pitches away from strike 10." Despite the walk, Youkilis was cut down on the base paths trying to steal fourth base.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close