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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.
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Extremely Uptight Olympic Procession Director During Opening Ceremony: 'Wrong, Wrong, This Is All Wrong!'

VANCOUVER—Olympic Procession director Bryan Anderson, known for his vigilant attention to detail and his violent temper, was furious with the apparent "sloppiness" and "unprofessionalism" during the athletes' opening ceremony march-in Friday night, sources reported. "No! Wrong! Don't cue the chimes now. It's too early. The chimes come on during Belgium, not Belarus!" a red-faced Anderson was overheard yelling just moments before he flipped over a chair and fired a handful of Olympic staffers for their "apparent decision to be morons today." "Come on, we got Azerbaijan on hold in the tunnel, let's move, people. You had your moment, Egypt. Less waving, more walking. Would it kill the Swiss to unravel their flag before they bring it out? Where's my spotlight? Where the hell is my goddamned spotlight?" Once the entire ceremony was completed, Anderson reportedly took a deep breath, smiled, and said, "We did it. Great work, everyone."

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