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Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.

Fisher-Price Releases New In Utero Fetal Activity Gym

EAST AURORA, NY—Touting it as the perfect tool for entertaining and stimulating the fetus during gestation, Fisher-Price announced the release Wednesday of a new in utero activity gym. “Whether they’re batting at the friendly toucans in order to harden their cartilage into bone or tapping the multicolored light-up palm tree to test out their sense of vision once their eyes open at 28 weeks, the Fisher-Price Rainforest Friends Prenatal Activity Gym is guaranteed to give your fetus a head start and keep it happy and occupied,” said director of marketing Kevin Goldbaum.

It Kind Of Sweet CEO Thinks He Doing Good Job

SEATTLE—Admitting that the sight of him laying out his vision for the company was pretty endearing, employees at Rainier Solutions reported Monday that it was kind of sweet that CEO Greg Warner thinks he is doing a good job.
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Extremely Vibrant Town Able To Sustain Two Buffalo Wild Wings

PEORIA, IL—Sources confirmed Monday that the unprecedented prosperity and wealth exhibited in Peoria, IL is evidenced by the vibrant and economically robust town’s ability to sustain not one but two Buffalo Wild Wings locations. “Normally, having more than one Buffalo Wild Wings in a single municipality isn’t remotely feasible from an economic standpoint, but in Peoria, which is essentially the very definition of a boomtown, it’s almost expected,” said University of Chicago economist Robert Lucas, adding that one need not look any further for symbols of citywide prosperity than the Buffalo Wild Wings at 5121 W. American Prairie Dr. and the Buffalo Wild Wings at 833 W. Camp St. “If you consider the kind of thriving local economy it takes to support such an extravagant luxury, it’s clear that Peoria has an abundance of riches that puts ‘wealthy’ cities like Oslo, Abu Dhabi, and Tokyo to shame. This truly is the city of gold.” Lucas went on to compare Peoria’s enormous wealth to its sister city of Bloomington, IN, whose financial largess is embodied by the town’s five McDonald’s locations.

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