adBlockCheck

Recent News

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
End Of Section
  • More News

Facebook: ‘We Will Make Our Product Worse, You Will Be Upset, And Then You Will Live With It’

MENLO PARK, CA—In a statement released to its 1.1 billion users, social media site Facebook announced Wednesday that the company will continue to make bad changes to its product, that members will be very upset with these changes, and that said members will then just have to learn to live with these changes. “Here’s what’s going to happen: Facebook will introduce a bunch of new features to the site that everyone will hate and that will make your experience worse, you will complain about it, and then you will realize you are utterly powerless to do anything about these new features, at which point you will move on and continue to use our product every single day,” Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg told reporters, adding that users will voice their dissatisfaction via a post or two on their timelines and then gradually let it go and return to using the site as usual, because “that’s the way this is gonna go.” “This exact same scenario will repeat itself six months from now, and then a year from now, and then a year and a half from now, and so on and so forth, that’s the deal, get used to it, talk to you later.” Facebook officials added that any users who strongly disagree with their policy should feel free to deactivate their accounts and reactivate them two days later.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close