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FactZone's Five Most Touching Moments

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The Arguments For And Against Bernie Sanders Staying In The Race

Bernie Sanders is ramping up his efforts in the presidential race despite long odds, while sharpening his criticisms of a Democratic Party increasingly focused on the general election with Hillary Clinton as their presumptive nominee. Here are the arguments for and against Sanders staying in the race

Report: Nobody Fucking Cares

NEW YORK—According to a brief but conclusive report released Monday, nobody fucking cares. “Doesn’t fucking matter,” read the report in part, which went on to inform readers that no one gives two shits, so fuck it.

Mom Sleeps In Past Sunrise

WOBURN, MA―Noting that she had somehow managed to sleep through both the dawn chorus of birds and her neighborhood’s early morning garbage pickup, 53-year-old local mother Laura Maloney confirmed that she did not awaken Monday until after the sun had risen.

Facebook Clarifies Site Not Intended To Be Users’ Primary Information Source

‘No One Should Really Be On Here More Than 15 Minutes A Day,’ Say Executives

MENLO PARK, CA—Addressing concerns about the site’s alleged bias in how it displays news stories in users’ feeds, Facebook executives held a press conference Thursday to clarify that the social network was not intended to serve as anyone’s primary source of information, and that its 1.6 billion active users should, at most, be spending 15 minutes on the platform in a given day in the first place.

Heart Attack A Real Wake-Up Call For Man’s Insurance Provider

HARTFORD, CT—Saying the incident had forced them to completely rethink their past decisions about the man’s coverage and how they would approach his policy from here on out, Aetna executives reported Thursday that the recent heart attack of longtime plan member Michael Burns was a real wake-up call for the 163-year-old insurance company.

Area Dad Needs More Time With Museum Plaque

NEW YORK—Leaning in close to the paragraph of text as his family continued on to the museum’s other exhibits, area dad and Frick Collection visitor Phillip Schermeier, 58, reportedly needed more time with the plaque beside Rembrandt’s 1626 painting Palamedes In Front Of Agamemnon Thursday.
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FactZone's Five Most Touching Moments

On FactZone's fifth anniversary, we look back at a few of the shows most touching moments:

5. Miracle On The Hudson: While reporting on the incredible landing of a U.S. Airways passenger plane on the Hudson river in January 2009, reporter John Harris shed actual tears while imagining the awesome fiery plane crash that could have been.

4. Fort Hood Shooting: While interviewing a grieving woman whose husband and father of their three children had just been murdered in cold blood, FactZone host Brooke Alvarez let a momentary glimmer of human sympathy to flash in her eyes.

3. One day after the tragic death of hiker Rebecca Walton, Shelby Cross interviews the bear accused of killing her, bringing it to tears.

2. Dr. Chris Sartinsky Performs Surgery On Child In Aftermath Of Haiti Earthquake: As the cameras rolled, Onion News Network medical correspondent Dr. Sartinsky performed emergency surgery on a Hatian child he had just run over with his van.

1. Tucker Hope's Emotional Moment: In the middle of delivering a 2010 report on rising farm subsides, FactZone co-host Tucker Hope inexplicably began screaming “noooo, make it stop” uncontrollably and was unable to regain his composure for the remainder of the broadcast.

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