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Sports

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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Falcons Starting To See Why No One Believed In Them

ATLANTA—Following their disappointing 28-24 defeat to the 49ers in the NFC Championship Game, members of the Atlanta Falcons confirmed Tuesday that the team is beginning to understand why nobody in the country believed in them this season. “At first I thought everyone was just bitter about our number one seed, but after blowing a 17-point lead at home to lose the game, now I see why people never stopped doubting us,” said Falcons wide receiver Roddy White, adding that with a 1-4 record in the playoffs since 2008, “it totally makes sense” not to take the team seriously as a postseason threat. “I guess when you think about it, we’re basically just an above-average team that always falls apart during the playoffs, so it’s no wonder everyone kept saying we wouldn’t even reach the Super Bowl, let alone win it. And they were right.” White also confirmed that after a second-half interception and a costly fumbled snap, the entire Falcons organization now realizes why the entire country has always insisted that Matt Ryan is not an elite quarterback.

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