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CEO Worked Way Up From Son Of CEO

Though today he holds a powerful position as head of a leading information technology firm, MergeMedia CEO Gary Lightman told reporters Thursday he, amazingly, worked his way to the very top of the company from humble beginnings as the son of the previous...

Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Families Of 9/11 Victims: Heat Losing 3 In A Row Would Be Much Worse Than World Trade Center Attacks

NEW YORK—Following Dwyane Wade's controversial remarks likening the fall of the World Trade Center towers to his team having a losing streak, several families of 9/11 victims announced their support for Wade, saying that three consecutive regular-season losses by the Heat would in fact be at least as tragic as the largest terrorist attack on American soil. "I can say without fear of contradiction that even a single loss by this very talented Miami team would make the Oklahoma City bombing pale in comparison," Staten Island's Kent Norris told reporters Wednesday, noting that he lost his daughter and son-in-law on 9/11. "Three losses in a row from a team that has LeBron, Bosh, and Wade? America would never truly recover from that." Norris also received support from the Jewish Anti-Defamation League after claiming that Miami failing to win at least five titles during LeBron's tenure would be "worse than 10 holocausts."

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