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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Family Comes First, Reports Man Trying To Get Out Of Work

EDINA, MN—Frank Noller, married father of two and advertising copywriter for Harton & North, extolled the virtues of family and parental responsibility in an attempt to leave the office 45 minutes early Monday. "My [14-year-old] son's got a bad cough," Noller told his boss before leaving, sighing unhappily as if he would have preferred to remain at work and do his job. "Gotta keep your priorities straight." Upon arriving home, Noller informed his wife that he would not be able to attend his daughter's gymnastics recital because he was "swamped with work."

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