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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Family Feud Pollster Tired Of Asking Strangers To Name A Fruit Typically Served With Breakfast

HOLLYWOOD, CA—Though he has only questioned 22 of the 100 people needed to complete his survey, veteran Family Feud pollster Rick Carlysle, 42, told reporters Monday that he is already sick of asking strangers to name a fruit typically served at breakfast. "You wouldn't believe how many people have given answers like star fruit or kiwi because they think they're being clever," said Carlysle, who has been polling random cross-sections of Americans on such banal topics as the typical contents of a lady's purse since the late Ray Combs hosted the popular game show in the early '90s. "I mean, come on, this isn't that hard. Just say banana or grapefruit. Or even cantaloupe, for Christ's sake." Carlysle said that if he doesn't start getting reasonable responses within the next 20 minutes, he will just make up some numbers to finish out the survey like he always does.

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