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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Family Relieved To Hear Good Grandma Didn't Die

KEENE, NH—After enduring a temporary moment of heartbreak upon hearing their grandmother had died in her sleep the previous night, children of the Sullivan family told reporters Monday they were immensely relieved to learn it wasn't the good grandma. "When Mom first broke the news, I got this awful feeling like everything inside me just dropped into my stomach—but then she told us it was Nana Duffy, not Grammy Jane," said 15-year-old Dana Sullivan, later adding that she couldn't bear to think about the void her beloved grandmother Jane's absence would have left in her life. "I really would have missed Grammy's stories and jokes. Thank God it wasn't her. She's the best." Dana and her two brothers Jason, 13, and David, 14, were reportedly excited to hear they would be staying with Grammy Jane in Concord while their parents attended the funeral.

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Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.

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