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Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.

Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

Wife Dropping Hints She Ready To Have Second Husband

LA JOLLA, CA—Noticing a sudden change in her demeanor and attentiveness when around young married men, sources confirmed Tuesday that area woman Michelle Roderick was beginning to drop hints that she wanted to try for a second husband.
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Family At Restaurant Reminds Grandma What Food She Likes

SPLENDORA, TX—As they carefully guided her through the menu at local eatery Republic Bistro Friday, the family of grandmother Barbara LeBlanc, 81, reportedly made a point of reminding her what foods she likes. “Oh, look, a Mediterranean chicken panini! You could have that. It’s basically just a chicken sandwich, and you like chicken,” said LeBlanc’s daughter Rachel Hallowell, explaining how the melted cheese and tomato slices made the sandwich similar to others she has liked in the past. “Or how about the Greek salad? You had one of those when we went out to dinner for Timmy’s graduation, and you said it was very good.” After LeBlanc reportedly pointed to the penne all’arrabbiata and suggested she might enjoy that, her relatives were quick to remind her that she hates spicy peppers.

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Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

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