adBlockCheck

Family Spends Relaxing Weekend Destroying Outdoors

Top Headlines

Recent News

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Obesity: Myth Vs. Fact

With as many as one in three people in the U.S. qualifying as obese, misconceptions are often formed about what it means to be significantly overweight. The Onion separates obesity myths from facts

A Primer On North Korea

The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea remains largely unknown to Americans due mainly to the secrecy and isolationism upheld by its government. The Onion provides a primer on North Korea’s people and culture
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Family Spends Relaxing Weekend Destroying Outdoors

ATLANTA—Feeling refreshed after three days of camping in Georgia’s Oconee National Forest, members of the Prendergast family confirmed Monday they had spent a relaxing weekend destroying the great outdoors. “It’s nice every now and then to escape from the city, get outside, and take some time to really trash nature,” said father of two Dan Prendergast, 49, remarking that the highlight of the trip was a morning hike during which his family was able to toss away their juice bottles, granola bar wrappers, and Ziploc sandwich bags at the summit of Burgess Mountain and along the banks of the Ocmulgee River. “Nothing beats being out in the country and littering with the whole family. It’s easy, too: We just pack up a couple disposable styrofoam coolers with food and drinks, load up the Chevy Suburban, and then drive out into the woods to pollute all that Mother Nature has to offer.” While the Prendergasts all agreed the weekend trip was fun, they told reporters that by Sunday, they were ready to get back to damaging the environment from the comfort of their own 5,000-square-foot air-conditioned home.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close