Family’s Euphemism For Genitals Really Weird

In This Section

Vol 49 Issue 22

Lifeguard Hoping To Make Up For Last Summer

The U.S. Disc Jockey General urges Americans to get the Led out, a BuzzFeed writer resigns in disgrace after plagarizing '10 Llamas Who Wish They Were Models,' and the new and improved Google maps lets users launch missiles at any location on the globe.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Customer Service

Good Times

Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

Family’s Euphemism For Genitals Really Weird

‘They Call Them Dinkies,’ Sources Say

HYANNIS, MA—Following dinner at the home of Stan and Linda Paulson and their three children, alarmed houseguest Brendan Murphy told reporters Wednesday that the local family’s preferred euphemism for human genitalia is apparently the word “dinky.” “The first couple times it came up, I had no idea what they were talking about, and then suddenly it hit me: They call them dinkies,” said Murphy, explaining that his confusion began during the family’s discussion of a baseball player who had been hit just below the waist by a line drive. “I mean…dinkies. How do you get there?” Compounding his unease, Murphy said, was the fact that the youngest member of the family is 12 years old.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More