Fan Incredibly Disappointed To Learn Player's Favorite Book Is The Bible

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Vol 46 Issue 16

Adam Wainwright Annoying Entire Ballpark By Announcing Pitch Count Out Loud

ST. LOUIS—Despite a stellar complete-game effort against the Mets Sunday, Cardinals ace Adam Wainwright managed to irritate every player, coach, member of the media, and spectator in the ballpark by shouting out his pitch count every single time he threw the ball. "One," Wainwright said after his first pitch, just seconds before acknowledging his second by shouting.

Great Boston Marathon Moments

Robert K. Cheruiyot set the new course record in this year's Boston Marathon, adding yet another chapter to the legend of this great road race.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

Fan Incredibly Disappointed To Learn Player's Favorite Book Is The Bible

OKLAHOMA CITY—Upon learning that Thunder star Kevin Durant's favorite book is the Bible, Dale Lowell, 36, told reporters Friday that he was "super disappointed" and said he would have to reassess his entire opinion of the Oklahoma City forward. "It would really suck if he was one of these really outspoken religious guys," a visibly deflated Lowell said after reading an ESPN The Magazine article in which Durant claimed he looked to the Bible before games for inspiration. "But either he really believes all that stuff, or he just thinks that having the Bible be his favorite book is a safe answer, which is almost as bad. You watch him play and you just assume he's so much cooler than that." Lowell added he was equally disappointed when he found out Thunder point guard Russell Westbrook's favorite book is To Kill A Mockingbird.

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