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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Fan Of Other Team Booed

CHICAGO—Thirty-two-year-old Sam Weber, who was wearing the color combination and various paraphernalia indicative of his fandom for a team other then the one hosting the sporting event he was attending, was booed by the other 75,000 fans present in the arena last Sunday when a projection of his face was shown on the facility's large television. "The fact that he had the gall to come into our building with every intention of showing his loyalty and devotion to the team playing our own was enough to warrant that type of hostile response," said Derek Glass, who, like the majority of fans present, was reportedly against the success of the other team and, by extension, any one individual who was for that success. "What a cocksucker." Glass added that when it was clear that Weber's team was going to lose the contest, his visibly depressed countenance was projected on the screen a second time, prompting a standing ovation.

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