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Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Ugh, This A Place Where Bartenders Wear Bow Tie

PITTSBURGH—Saying they should have known from the moment they walked in the unmarked speakeasy entrance and spotted the extensive wood paneling, customers confirmed Friday that, ugh, this is one of those places where the bartenders all wear bow ties.

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Fans Best Fans Ever

MOST MAJOR AMERICAN CITIES—Coaches, managers, team owners, quarterbacks, pitchers, drivers, hockey and basketball centers, league MVPs, Chevy Trucks Players of the Game, and others took time over the last few days to inform sports fans that they were the greatest fans ever. "I'd like to take a moment and thank the fans for all their support," sports figures at every position except wide receiver and in every city except Chicago announced at some time between Saturday's post-game press conferences and Wednesday night interviews. "I [am employed in a sports-related capacity] for the greatest fans in the world." Barry Bonds, Brian Billick, and Phil Mickelson could not be reached for comment.

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