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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Fans Best Fans Ever

MOST MAJOR AMERICAN CITIES—Coaches, managers, team owners, quarterbacks, pitchers, drivers, hockey and basketball centers, league MVPs, Chevy Trucks Players of the Game, and others took time over the last few days to inform sports fans that they were the greatest fans ever. "I'd like to take a moment and thank the fans for all their support," sports figures at every position except wide receiver and in every city except Chicago announced at some time between Saturday's post-game press conferences and Wednesday night interviews. "I [am employed in a sports-related capacity] for the greatest fans in the world." Barry Bonds, Brian Billick, and Phil Mickelson could not be reached for comment.

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