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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Fans Disappointed To Learn 'Fast Five' Contains No Car-Chase Scenes

HOLLYWOOD, CA—Devoted fans of the Fast And Furious movies expressed disappointment upon leaving theaters this weekend, reporting that Fast Five, the latest installment in the franchise, does not include a single car-chase scene. "You see a bunch of cool-looking cars revving their engines at red lights, but just before they hit the gas, the action cuts away to a coffee shop, where the main characters discuss what a great car chase they just had," said moviegoer Ben Liddell, explaining that while the film's plot remains tightly focused on street racing, all the driving takes place off camera. "The only time you even see a vehicle in motion is at the very end, when Vin Diesel and Paul Walker park their cars and go inside." Broadway director Julie Taymor is reportedly at work on a stage production of Fast Five that will contain more than a dozen extended and elaborately choreographed car-chase sequences.

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