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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Weird, Area Woman Wasn't Harassed Today

Bewildered paralegal Caitlin Levy says that after returning home from work today, it occurred to her that, oddly, at no point during her day was she harassed, leered at, or made to feel humiliated or physically threatened.

The Onion’s Fall TV Preview

Networks are just weeks away from debuting their Fall lineups, featuring both new shows and returning favorites. The Onion breaks down what to watch this Fall.

Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.
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Fans Of Green Screens, Incredibly Fake-Looking Things Express Love For Modern Cinema

NEW YORK—Self-proclaimed fans of artificially sleek movies that at no point appear as though they contain real human beings onscreen in real locations doing real things expressed their ongoing appreciation for modern filmmaking today, sources confirmed. “We live in a veritable golden age for films featuring performers hoisted up on wires in front of green screens and talking to inanimate objects that will later be replaced in post-production with oddly humanoid, cartoonish CGI characters,” film aficionado Kevin Wu told reporters, expressing his abiding passion for today’s movies that essentially look like above-average video games. “If you’re like me, and you like nothing more than chaotic, ugly-looking scenes of computerized carnage where you can practically see the mouse cursor hovering over the movie screen at all times, then this truly is the greatest time in history to be a moviegoer.” Wu added that he often shudders at the thought of how supremely awful cinema must have been before the advent of CGI.

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