Fanzine Marred by Typo

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Grin Slowly Spreads Across Mom’s Face As Meal Revealed To Contain Healthy Ingredients

‘The Mashed Potatoes Are Actually Made With Cauliflower,’ She Announces

VERONA, WI—Having waited until everyone at the table had finished their dinner Monday, a knowing grin reportedly spread across local mother Angela Hopkins’ face as she announced to her family that the mashed potatoes had in fact been made using cauliflower as a healthier alternative.

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VIRGINIA BEACH, VA—Grieving family members of local aunt Laurie Shelton confirmed Monday that the 48-year-old woman’s unexpected death had caused a major breach in their gossip pipeline, suddenly disrupting access to the latest dirt on all their relatives.

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SPRINGFIELD, MA—Keeping his voice at a measured volume and holding everything back, departing employee David Hughes was really letting no one have it during his exit interview Monday, sources at local accounting firm Grier and Associates confirmed.

Conceptual Genius Goes As Self For Halloween

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No One In Gym Class Volleyball Game Willing To Set Ball

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45-Minute Phone Call To Credit Card Company Goes Great

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Mom Keeping Tabs On Coyote Situation

WAYZATA, MN—Regularly updating her husband and children on the frequency and location of sightings around the neighborhood, local mother Dana Salisbury continued to keep close tabs on the coyote situation this week, sources confirmed.

Teen Coming Out Of Shell Giving Bully Lots Of New Material To Work With

SCOTTSDALE, AZ—Claiming he “hit the jackpot” when his victim began displaying an increased level of confidence and expressing his personal interests, local bully David Macomber told reporters Tuesday that he has had loads of new material to work with since 14-year-old Andrew Reid started coming out of his shell several weeks ago.

Boss Able To Seamlessly Blend Constructive Criticism With Personal Attacks

SAN JOSE, CA—Marveling at the ease and deftness with which he communicates the two messages simultaneously, employees at local advertising firm Wavelength Solutions told reporters Tuesday that their supervisor Eric Crowell has a unique ability to seamlessly blend constructive criticism with cutting personal attacks.

Neighborhood Starting To Get Too Safe For Family To Afford

CHICAGO—Explaining that the sense of unease she felt walking to and from her home had declined markedly over the years, Humboldt Park resident Kirsten Healy expressed her disappointment to reporters Thursday that her neighborhood was becoming too safe for her family to afford.

Area Dad Informs Busboy He’s Ready To Order

NASHUA, NH—Raising his arm into the air while leaning outward from the table in a bid to command attention from the other side of the restaurant, area father Walter Bierko called over a busboy at DiCapri’s Italian Eatery to inform him that he was ready to order, sources reported Wednesday.

Winning Argument With Aging Parents Less Satisfying Than It Once Was

CINCINNATI—After firmly telling them that she was okay paying city prices and that she would not move back to her hometown just because it was cheaper, local woman Ellen Wallace, 40, confirmed Thursday that winning an argument with her parents has become much less satisfying as they have gotten older.

Rescuers Heroically Help Beached Garbage Back Into Ocean

ATLANTIC BEACH, NC—In what many described as an inspiring display of selflessness and teamwork, a group of rescuers heroically saved a beached mound of garbage by helping the stranded trash back into the ocean, eyewitnesses reported Thursday.

Man Races Against Time To Take Out Trash Bag With Widening Puncture

RIO RANCHO, NM—His pace steadily quickening as he rounded the corner out of his kitchen and made a beeline for the front door, local man Henry Parnasse reportedly found himself locked in a race against time Wednesday morning to take out a trash bag with a widening hole in its side.

Man Pushed Off Plate Of Chicken Wings By Larger Male

WARMINSTER, PA—Looking on as the intense display of aggressive behavior played out over several minutes, sources at Flannigan’s Bar & Grill confirmed Thursday that local man Pete Samuelson was pushed off a plate of buffalo wings by a much larger alpha male.

Grandma Guts It Out Through Lunch On Sunny Patio

MALVERN, PA—Making the audacious decision to dine outdoors with her family despite a noticeable lack of umbrellas or awnings, grandmother Diane McGilvery, 83, reportedly gutted it out through lunch Friday on the sunny patio of a local restaurant.

Parents Formally Announce Transfer Of Expectations To Second Child

GRAND JUNCTION, CO—Explaining that the adjustment made the most practical sense for all parties involved, local parents Beth and Ryan Morgan held a press conference Friday morning to announce the official transfer of expectations from their oldest child, Jeremy, to his younger sibling, Angie.

Motorcyclist Salvaged For Parts

SIOUX FALLS, SD—Following a multiple-vehicle accident on Interstate 90 that temporarily halted traffic in both directions, sources reported Friday that a motorcyclist involved in the crash was hauled off and salvaged for parts.

Detective Not Sure He Was Close Enough To Partner To Endlessly Pursue Killer

DETROIT—After his partner of three years was gunned down last week while the pair were on duty, Detective David Killian of the Detroit Police Department’s Major Case Squad told reporters Wednesday he was unsure whether he had been close enough to his murdered colleague to single-mindedly pursue the killer for as long as it takes.

Man Pretty Cocky Since Beating Cancer

FT. LAUDERDALE, FL—Whether he’s bragging about his newfound appreciation for life or arrogantly refusing to take anything for granted, local man Daniel Oretsky, 38, has been acting insufferably cocky since winning his two-year battle with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Local Household Announces Plans To Overdo Halloween Again

HIGHLAND PARK, IL—Having hauled over a dozen boxes of lights and plastic decorations as well as a large black-cat-shaped lawn inflatable from storage, members of the Hutchcroft family announced to neighbors from their front yard Thursday their plan to completely overdo Halloween again this year.


Fanzine Marred by Typo

BERKELEY, CA—A clear typographical error was discovered yesterday in the latest issue of MangaMash, a fanzine devoted to hardcore Japanese speed metal bands and Sanrio/Hello Kitty novelty kitsch products. The error, an obvious incorrect usage of “your” instead of “you’re,” shocked and disappointed MangaMash’s estimated dozen readers, who for over 11 months and three issues have come to value the fanzine’s commitment to journalistic excellence.

MangaMash's dozen readers reacted in varied ways to the fanzine's typo. (See text right.) Some expressed anger while others were not lucid enough to give coherent responses.

“I guess I just missed that one,” said editor/writer/publisher Dave Pelks, 20, who usually tries to read over the paper before taking it to the copy shop. “It’s ‘you’re’ and not ‘your’? I always mess that up.”

The typo marks the first error for MangaMash since last year’s April/November issue, in which “New York” was spelled “New Yrrok.” “That wasn’t like a real mistake,” said Pelks, defending the earlier error. “That time I just totally typed it wrong by accident. I know how to spell New York.” Pelks maintains it was late at the time, and he was “really tired.”

To prevent future errors, Pelks has made significant overhauls in the fanzine’s complex editorial process.

“I think from now on I’m gonna have my sister Anne look it over before I make any copies,” he said. “She’s only 15, but she’s really good at spelling and writing. She’s like the brain of the family.”

As an added safety check, if Anne is unavailable for editing, Pelks says he will ask his mother for help.

Because of the typo, future expansion plans have been put on hold.

“I was hoping do a color cover for the next issue,” Pelks said. “Actually, not in color, but on color paper. It was gonna be a big picture of Hello Kitty fighting Ga-mera on green paper. That would’ve been so cool.”

According to in-dustry insiders, the mistake puts the fanzine’s rock-solid reputation in jeopardy.

“This is a serious error,” Doubleday vice--president Mar-garet Ferber said. “It’s Manga-Mash’s most significant mistake since two issues ago, when Pelks stapled all the cover pages on upside-down.”

“I totally wasn’t paying attention,” Pelks said of the incident. Collectors estimate the value of the upside-down cover issue at zero dollars.

Despite the most recent slip-up, Manga-Mash’s two distributors have vowed to stand behind the embattled fanzine.

MangaMash provides the best coverage around of Japancore bands like HappyGinzaPoo and Shoko Ono,” said Pat Kwiatkowski, owner of Crush Records, a local record store specializing in used LPs and hard-to-find imports. “Their recent feature on KyotoFunFun’s tour of New Zealand was outstanding.”

Paul Scobee, manager of the Stop-N-Pop, also stood by the fanzine. “A few months ago, this kid asked me if he could leave a few copies of his magazine thing by the door,” Scobee said. “I told him yeah, as long as they don’t block the entrance. So far, it’s been okay.”

The fanzine’s most recent error has not surprised grammar experts, who say it ranks among the most frequently made mistakes. “A lot of people confuse ‘your’ and ‘you’re,’” The New York Times’ William Safire said. “If you are unsure, I recommend you actually spell out ‘you are,’ and then see if it makes sense in context.”