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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Fashion Dos & Don'ts

These days, looking good is a must. Here are a few tips from the experts to help keep you in style:

  • Remember: Distressed and/or acid-washed denim never goes out of style
  • Pants should be "cuffed," or rolled, at least six inches above the ankle
  • Wear extremely expensive clothes only; they are made from finer materials and look better
  • Eat bath salts to make your innards smell pretty
  • If your T-shirts have yellow stains under the arms, cut the underarms out before wearing
  • Never wear glasses on a date; your potential mate will think you are undesirably smart
  • There are many excellent "big and tall" shops that cater to fat hogs like yourself
  • Keep collars turned up at all times
  • With scissors, cut the hems of other women's skirts so their length matches your own
  • Wearing green shirts on Thursdays lets all your classmates know that you are a homosexual
  • If you have wide hips, cover your imperfections with a gigantic tarp

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