Father And Son Take Incredibly Sad Annual Trip To Florida To Watch Mets In Spring Training

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Vol 49 Issue 11

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ABC 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. CDT Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Louie Anderson, and other celebrities compete to see which one has the most mismanaged finances.

Saturday, March 23

There’s no Bloodmobile this week. Still have some left over from last time, matter of fact.

Stupid Ponds, Faggy Rivers

National Geographic 7 p.m. EDT/6 p.m. CDT Moody teenage host Grant Brock takes you to a few aquatic locales only a gay idiot would be dumb enough to enjoy.

Nadal Hits Shot Super Low To The Net

INDIAN WELLS, CA—In an interview following his 4-6, 6-4, 7-5 victory over Ernests Gulbis at the BNP Paribas Open, Spanish tennis player Rafael Nadal recounted hitting a shot during the second set Thursday that went super low over the net.

GOP Senator Flips On Gay Marriage After Son Comes Out

Sen. Rob Portman (R-OH), a leading conservative who was on Mitt Romney’s shortlist for vice president, announced the reversal of his longstanding position against same-sex marriage, saying he had a change of heart after his son came out to him two y...

NASA Designers Release Flirty New Space Skirt

The word 'innovate' is said over 24 million times at SXSW, NASA designers release a flirty new spaceskirt, and the next episode of 'Girls' to feature Lena Dunham shitting herself during gyno exam while eating a burrito.
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Father And Son Take Incredibly Sad Annual Trip To Florida To Watch Mets In Spring Training

PORT ST. LUCIE, FL—In a long-standing and pathetic family tradition, father and son Anthony and Justin Stroud this week made their incredibly depressing annual trip down to Florida to watch the New York Mets play in spring training, sources confirmed Sunday. “Every year, me and Justin load up the minivan and head down to Tradition Field to watch our Metropolitans shake off the old cobwebs,” said Anthony Stroud, who sadly drove 18 hours from Trenton, NJ with his 24-year-old son to purchase $8 tickets for the Mets’ exhibition matchup against the Atlanta Braves. “It’s a bit of a hike, but it’s great to get up-close and personal not just with established Mets stars like John Buck and Lucas Duda, but also promising up-and-comers like Jenrry Mejia and Jordany Valdespin. Something tells me this is going to be a magical season.” At press time, the father and son were pitifully attempting to cheer on the Mets.

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