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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.
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Father Doesn't Understand Teenage Son's Obsession With Classic Rock

SAN LUIS OBISPO, CA—Phil Poole, 42, said Monday that he is coming to grips with his 15-year-old son Carter's taste in music. "I thought he was playing it as a sarcastic thing, and I was like, 'Hey, kid, your mother and I dated to Boston and Journey,'" Poole said. "But after I overheard him talking about it with his friends, I realized he actually likes it. Then I got worried—I mean, his mother and I dated to Boston and Journey." Poole added that he will not give Carter $30 to buy a Hot Topic rip-off of the Asia T-shirt he bought for $10 at Spencer's Gifts in 1982.

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