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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Favre Announces He Will Return To College Football

HATTIESBURG, MS—Quarterback Brett Favre responded Saturday to the question of whether or not he had any football left in him by announcing that he would return for at least one more season at a major college program. "I'd like to win one more championship before I retire for good, and Southern Miss, Tennessee, and Florida all have talented young squads that could make a real run to number one next year," said Favre, who has been recruited by several top programs but will wait until after Signing Day to commit to a school. "I know I still have a ways to go with my decision-making, but I know I'd be the kind of quarterback that could grow along with a program." Although scouts from several Division I teams are interested in Favre, they noted that he played an option scheme in high school and seemed noncommittal about maintaining the required 2.25 GPA.

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