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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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FBI Counterterrorists Launch Media Campaign Downplaying Symbolic Value Of Golden Gate Bridge

WASHINGTON—Describing the structure as purely utilitarian and devoid of any inspirational characteristics, officials from the FBI’s Counterterrorism Division launched an international media campaign Wednesday downplaying the symbolic value of the Golden Gate Bridge. “When Americans look at the Golden Gate Bridge, they see some towers and cables and that’s about it—it’s certainly no more an embodiment of American values than any other piece of public infrastructure,” FBI assistant director of public affairs Michael Kortan told reporters before drawing attention to the agency’s Twitter account, which had released a series of tweets explaining that the bridge was “not even that well-known outside the Bay Area” and “pretty much just postcard fodder.” “From an engineering standpoint, I guess it’s somewhat impressive, but by those criteria, all bridges and overpasses are fairly impressive. It’s no London Tower Bridge, that’s for sure.” Kortan added that, given what an unsightly orange color the bridge is, getting rid of it would actually be warmly welcomed by all Americans.

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